Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Dowry - Is that all to Marriage?

Being a quarter-of-a-century old arthropod is difficult, more so if you belong to the female species. And if you have the good chance of being born into an Indian family, then be prepared for a rough ordeal into the world of match making.

If luck has been unfavorable towards you, with regard to love, then count yourself in for some tough times. Yes its that time of your life, when all that parents talk to is about marriage, prospective grooms, the constant reminder that you-are-not-getting-any-younger, and so on. In most cases, this is just the prelude. it is often followed by emotional manipulation wherein you are tricked into giving your consent for this matrimony affair.

And then suddenly the ugly part of this drama is unveiled. I am talking about the forbidden word, Dowry. For most of us who have the privilege of hailing from educated families, brought up in free thinking environment, this is a rude awakening.

That was Rupa, last year. She was told that the groom's parents wanted a car, gold accessories for his sisters, and furnishing for his new flat at Thane. At first she was aghast, shocked that such an expectation was put forth despite them being family acquaintances. Rupa was shattered.

Of course she called things off, and on her family's insistence had to politely cite her sudden disinterest in marriage as the main reason. What remained with Rupa at the end of those 7 months was pain, disbelief, and disappointment. The experience left her emotionally scarred, and I as her friend have tried to understand what would have led to a well-to-do family to have such atrocious expectation.

And then it dawned upon me, it was never a marriage, it had been a business arrangement from the very beginning. Its like a bargain that you strike with your vegetable vendor at the weekly bazaar. When you arrive at a price that is agreeable to both parties, one decides to part ways with his goods and you have your item.

And yes, I am talking about marriage. Thats the horrifying part of it all.

Rupa is doing well today. She has move on since that incident. This has made her a stronger person, prepared her for the better or worse times of life which are yet to come.

Monday, April 01, 2013


तू कौन है
जिसका सपना देखा मैंने
सोच - सोच मै घबराऊँ
पाऊ ना मै अब कुछ कहने

तू कौन है
जो लगे है जाना - पहचाना नहीं
तेरी बातें है बहुत प्यारी
पर है तू एक अजनबी

तू कौन है
जिससे हुआ है ये अनोखा परिचय
'तेरा साथ ' होगा कि नहीं
विधाता ही करेगा इसका निर्णय